After a whopping 16 seconds spent nursing it down his gullet with all the speed of a glacier, Bill Shorten finally managed to put away a single schooner of lager yesterday, Junkee reports.
In a world where the consumption of an onion stops a nation and world record holding beer scullers take office, this is just not good enough.
More tax paid in this beer Shorten sculled then paid by entire offshore gas industry…. oh yes.. I just turned it political. #taxjustice pic.twitter.com/313b5H9gmX
— Sam Dastyari (@samdastyari) April 9, 2017
Red faced, teary eyed and as still as the grave, Bill Shorten has revealed a major shortcoming in his non-existent ability to scull a beer.
While the unstoppable, outlandish and utterly motherfucking legendary Bob Hawke managed to knock back a pint in 11 seconds at the cricket, Shorten takes a painstaking 16 seconds to do the same with a schooner.
Plus, I never thought I’d say the words, but this made me miss Tony Abbott. At least he was good entertainment.
