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7 reasons we all did pee pee in our pants when the 2016 Laneway lineup dropped

This past Tuesday every self-respecting music fan in Australia collectively splooged in their undies in unison*. Such a show of paralleled wet movements has only ever been witnessed in synchronised swimming. But when St Jerome’s Laneway Festival drops a lineup as good as this one, such a phenomenon is to be expected. So while you try to wash your shame stains out of your smalls, we’ve thrown together a listicle that best sums up what makes Laneway 2016 so orgasmic.

Laneway 2016 must see bands

Made a mess of your trousers when the Laneway lineup 2016 dropped? Don’t worry friend, you’re not alone. Behold the 7 artists who have us reaching for the tissues.

Thundercat

Because it’s Thundercat, duh.

Oh, we need more than four words to explain these entries? Okay, in that case how about ‘Because there is no bass player more badass than Thundercat’? Seriously, this man’s funky melodies will have you purring with pleasure. Besides being a gun producer Thundercat also released his mini-album The Beyond / Where the Giants Roam earlier this year, and to put it simply, it’s the reason that the ‘bass face’ was brought into existence.

Methyl Ethel

Perth trio Methyl Ethel have been on a serious roll since dropping their amazing album Oh Inhumane Spectacle this year. That album is, for lack of a better word, a mesmerising spectacle. But seeing these Perth fellas in the flesh is something else entirely. It’s not often that a band can completely transcend what you hear on tape but Methyl Ethel are leaps and bounds ahead of the competition in this arena. Jake Webb’s voice is a revelation, and it’s one you have to experience come February.

High Tension

Speaking of killer vocals, High Tension‘s Karina Utomo was one of highlights of this past BIGSOUND. The way she so seamlessly switched between aggressive screaming and clean vocals was nothing short of impressive, especially when such a thing usually sees vocalists fall flat on their face. The band’s sophomore album Bully is one of the best hardcore releases of the year, and considering they are the only showing of hardcore music on the bill all you maniacs who call circle pits home would be wise to make your way to High Tension’s set.

Grimes

Another entry on this listicle that can be filed under ‘duh’, the alt-pop pixie that is Grimes is a force to be reckoned with. She’s pushing the boundaries of alt-pop with reckless abandon and we’re slobbering to hear more from her. Not to mention that she’s a boss when it comes visuals, both in her videos and ridiculously cool fashion sense. Bold and adventurous, she’s one of the most fascinating artists on the bill.

Blank Realm

Hot off releasing their latest banger Illegals in Heaven, prolific Brisbane four-piece Blank Realm aren’t the type to rest on their laurels. It wasn’t even a year ago the gang had released their critically frothed Grassed In, and they’re back again with an album that ups the ante even further. Bleeding the lines between experimental pop and loose, jangly guitar jams it’s one that has cemented their place as one of Australia’s best bands. Plus seeing them lives guarantees witnessing some sick keytar action.

Ali Barter

Lists like this make you realise how many great records we’ve been blessed with by the musos who call Australia home. Case in point, the impeccable Ali Barter recently dropped her third EP AB-EP that inspired a 1000 word review from us. It’s everything you wish would have come together on a recording during the mish-mash decade that was the 90s. Her lyrics are razor sharp and cut to the bone with brutal honesty. With a killer attitude and the best throwback to grunge we’ve heard in a long time, Ali Barter is a guitar wielding goddess.

Vince Staples

Rounding out these proceedings is perhaps one of the most understated figures in the hip-hop game. Vince Staples released a killer debut double album with Summertime ’06 and it’s a record that any hip-hop fan needs to give a spin. And if you haven’t heard it yet you’re a sorry excuse for a hip-hop fan. Lucky for you Laneway is still a way away, so there’s plenty of time to get acquainted with one of the most profuse lyricists in the game.

*Ed: Any form of mass meditation heals the world.